The next day I went to my usual playground to actually think about what my sister had said. I’m used to dismissing my sister and mother outright, but I had to admit for the first time in my life I did feel a slight bit of trepidation about this whole concept of High school. School had been a breeze for me to this point, and as much as I hated to admit it, I did sort of run things at school up until this point. But I like to think that unlike my mother and sister, I was not making some diabolical effort to be bitch queen, it just happened that my pleasant demeanor and sunny disposition won over those I did not have to beat into submission. As I swung on my favorite swing, I kicked my legs out to go higher and higher. They had succeeded in giving me doubts, which is something only your family can really do when no one else in the world can. In fact that is the real power a mother has over a daughter; she can take away all of your fears and doubts, and she can give them all right back to you twice as hard. I swung and kicked my legs to go higher and higher. I like my black dresses and black shoes; I like my style. Anyone who likes me likes my style, and those who don’t who cares? I love who I am, and to hell with anyone who doesn’t. I mean, what it all boils down to is that I am the girl my parents raised me to be, they can’t take it back now just because I’m a teenager and expect me to become something else entirely. If they can’t change me, what makes them think high school can? I kicked my legs to go as high as I could, and when I came down, I saw a boy sitting a ways off on a bench directly in front of me drawing. He was not sitting there before… in fact he was not sitting there on the previous swing, but there he was as if he’d been there the entire afternoon. He was completely ethnically ambiguous, which normally in my neighborhood usually meant he was probably one of my cousins over for a visit, but he definitely wasn’t related to me. He had wild long straight black hair, and dark, nearly black eyes. He looked kinda muscular like he played sports or something… maybe he was Spanish or something like that… In any case, the way the wind was playing with his hair I couldn’t make out his features for sure, but he definitely didn’t seem to be too much older than I was, but then he wasn’t younger either. It was frustrating, I just couldn’t place him…
“Would you like to come look at it?”
“Huh?” He spoke. I didn’t realize he had spoke, to me, asked me a question, right away, that is….
“You’ve been staring at me for 5 minutes. Either you want to see what I’m drawing or you are simply tired of swinging. Either way I think that you should do something other that sit there and stare at me.”
He was right; I wasn’t swinging, and I hadn’t been blinking, and I was not aware that I had stopped doing either.
“There’s more room on this bench, you can sit here.”
Now that I had been so obviously made, I pretty much had to come over there to hide my embarrassment. “Um… soo, yeah… what is that you’re drawing?”
“Her name is Netzach, she rules over the power of Life in the Universe. Do you want to see her?”
His drawing was beautiful; she was a green angelic woman with long flowing wings and hair to match. I could feel a lot of power emanating just from his drawing. For an older kid he still seemed to keep a lot of his imagination intact. “She’s beautiful”, I said, “You’re very talented”.
“You can really see her can’t you”, he said. For the first time he looked me in my eyes. I wanted to run, or shrink, or jump or… his eyes were full of… something I had never felt before, but it made me feel like I need immediate medical attention. He smiled, “I can introduce you to her… please I want to, there are so few people who can see her…”
I nodded my head yes. Once he took his eyes away from mine I was able to breathe again, which was good, but I immediately missed the feeling, which would trouble me later. He folded his hands together and shut his eyes tight. The wind blew harder through our hair, and when his eyes opened again they glowed green, the same green as he used in his picture. “Come forth Netzach!” Before us a green orb about the size of a basketball appeared from thin air, and from it unfolded two giant, glorious angelic wings. From there stepped the same woman who was in the drawing, who I was to notice later, wasn’t in the picture anymore. Her green robes hung casually from her voluptuous body and as her bare feet touched the ground, verdant life sprung from each step. The air had never smelled cleaner, I never felt better or healthier in my life, just being in her presence; if there truly were an Angel that ruled over all life in the universe, here she was. My new friend reached down and gathered some of the flowers that spontaneously sprung from Netzach’s appearance, and gave them to me. “I’m Gabriel, what’s your name?”
Thursday, May 1, 2008
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